I have to keep reminding myself that the person that I miss so badly is gone. He is not the same person he used to be. And so when it hurts so much it feels like my heart is literally breaking into tiny pieces, I have to remind myself that he doesn't exist anymore.
He is like a phantom limb that keeps tricking me into thinking it is still there. It is worse than grieving a death. At least in death there is some comfort in imagining that you will be together again someday. For me, this person is gone forever. His personality change transcending death to have become a new entity that I don't know, and don't like very much.
That person, I could happily never see again. The old one...I miss desparately.
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